Cleveland Owlbears™

Every year at opening day, hundreds of protesters swarm Progressive Field, home of Cleveland’s baseball team, the Indians. Protesters object to the current representation of a race as a mascot, and the caricature which the team uses increasingly rarely, tacitly admitting that they understand they’re on the losing side of history. Inevitably, this name will change. Teams named after a group of people are bound to be cast aside. There will be calls for suggestions; perhaps a poll or brief media exercise. A name will be decided upon, but will it be the best decision for Cleveland? Will it fit our team?

We must make sure that this mascot, this moniker suits our community and our beloved sports franchise. A bespoke creature so snug with our ideas of self and community that nobody would question its existence and pertinence. A symbol of tenacity, legacy, and loyalty. A noble beast, of courage and power. A proud and wise creature, whose endurance and strength (Con 21, Str 21) correspond to our team’s grand history and ability. A creature with at least 5 hit dice.

The Owlbear.

The Cleveland Indians themselves, as a team, have historically fit thematically into the Owlbear mold. We are a team steeped in history, in pride. We can remember back to the glory days of the 90’s when Cleveland had one of the best offenses the game has ever seen. This strength, this power is shown in the hulking form of our beloved Owlbear. The Owlbear is the perfect mascot for our Cleveland baseball team. Its native habitat is our own temperate forest environment.  Our dear city’s manufacturing roots are shown in the brawn and constitution of the animal. Our blue collar disposition is evinced in the beast’s tenacity and strength, with its impressive physical statistics and Improved Grab technique. Our City’s resurgence is mirrored in the Owlbear’s vitality. As Cleveland continues to forge its way into the future, it leans on the medical and technical fields. Our City’s vision is mirrored the cerebral skills and low-light vision of the Owlbear, whose wisdom and perception are unmatched. Lastly, the fierce loyalty this grand beast exhibits toward its cublets represents the strength of tradition and honor that we in Cleveland hold dear.

The Owlbear would not be the popular choice if the issue came up today, despite how well-suited it is to the position. For this reason, we need to get out ahead of any public outreach. It must permeate through our nerd and internet channels and slowly, as if though osmosis, spread to the greater social consciousness.  Spread the word.  Talk up the Owlbear to your friends and family. Familiarize yourself with owlbear facts and highlights to be sure you’re ready to engage in discussion. If we are able to make this a movement far enough ahead of the renaming of the team, we can manage to become a powerful write-in candidate, if not an officially-sanctioned contender (which would, of course, be the ideal outcome here). In an effort to propel Cleveland Owlbears, Traxler Printing and Traxler Tees have adopted the campaign to set Owlbears into history.

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Traxler Printing is committed to producing 100% of the Owlbears line from materials and labor sourced from Ohio only. We will host this campaign indefinitely on TraxlerTees.com. Additionally the net proceeds from every sale will be donated to Native American Rights Fund (NARF). Stay tuned as we begin to roll out a new tribe and a parliament of Owlbear gear.

-Zachary Traxler
CEO
Traxler Printing